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<  Cesspit  ~  "Crippling our Children the Heelys way" - Rebuttal
Slicer
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 12:50 am  Reply with quote
Museum Curator


Joined: 29 Jul 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Central North Dakota, aka The Middle of Nowhere

> Crippling our Children the Heelys Way – And now in Adult models too!

Let's begin with the title! I have yet to meet anyone, on this site, outside, or anywhere reported on the Internet, who has met an actual child or adult being in any way crippled by the simple act of Heeling. It's pure nonsense conjecture right from the get-go.

> by: Winston Ng

Hi, Winston! Do you write articles like this because you really believe what you're spewing, or do you just ruin kids' fun for your own amusement?

> “Heelys – The only shoe with a removable wheel in the heel”. – http://www.heelys.com

> I figured that Heelys had the best description of their own product, so I decided not to re-invent the wheel and copied it verbatim.

Your puns are unwelcome in light of your stupidity.

> Fortunately, or maybe not, Heelys’ positioning in the market has made them the “Scotch Tape” of the wheel in the heel industry. Customers interchangeably use the term “Scotch Tape” for adhesive tape and Heelys for every shoe with a wheel in the heel.

> Prior to our discussion proper, I must point out that I am impartial to genuine Heelys or third world knock-outs. Hence, we shall use the term Heelys generically.

And this is a huge mistake, and actually a violation of US trademark law. Heelys are not to be confused with cheap knockoffs (e. g. the Air Skates that you can find extra cheap on Ebay if you search for "Heelies"). Those things are unsafe, not because of their rolling, but because of their cheap manufacture. For the parents reading this: Buy your children only genuine Heelys. The cheap knockoffs are cheap for a reason.

> The widespread sales of Heelys have spanned from South Africa to China. In every large city, we see children whizzing by in the trademark “Crocodile Mouth” stance. It looks something like this > ; a toppled over “V” on one tip.

I have yet to meet the kid who actually heels bent over like that. Even a cursory browsing of Heelys on YouTube will prove him wrong. The man is either grossly exaggerating a kid trying to balance himself, or pulling things out of thin air.

> The other reason I call it the “Crocodile Mouth” stance is when an incoming kid cannot stop in time! I assure you – your abdomen feels exactly like it has been gorged by a crocodile!

If you can't withstand a 10 mph impact by a 60 pound kid that only comes up to your waist, you, sir, are a weakling.

> Unfortunately, the real high risk victims are our little children. They can look forward to the following problems after prolonged use:

Idiots on the Internet publishing articles that their parents will somehow believe? Outgrowing their Heelys and not being able to get a new pair? Having their bearings get rusty after a drift through a puddle? Wouldn't it be great if you actually addressed these and other real problems?

> 1. Neck & Upper Back Injury

If you fell down, maybe.

> 2. Lower Back Injury

If you fell down hard, maybe.

> 3. Hip Injury

If you fell down really hard, maybe.

> Neck & Upper Back Injury

> The natural skating position of the Heelys forces the neck to push the head outwards to balance a body that is now poised to fall backwards.

This is complete nonsense. Anyone who's Heeled for more than five minutes and can go in a straight line doesn't need to do this.

> The neck and shoulder muscles are strained to push the head forward to counteract gravity. However, our neck muscles were not made to hold our head out on a horizontal plane. This is a stop gap measure by our body to prevent us from toppling.

Pushing the head out on a horizontal plane to stop from falling backwards? Where exactly did this man go to college to study anatomy? I've Heeled for more than three months and I have a hard time visualizing anyone doing this, and I don't think I could do it myself if I tried.

*tries*

Wow, that's awkward. Nope, doesn't work.

> Sadly, the damage is not going to be stop gap nor temporary.

No, the damage is going to come when parents start believing this baloney.

> Back Injury

> The skating position of the Heelys compels the lumbar curve of our backs to flex AGAINST its natural curve, creating a flat lower back instead of a concave one.

I don't think this is even physically possible.

> To be fair - the skating can be done with a natural curve but it takes great effort;

No it doesn't. You want to know what takes great effort? Not using profanity when writing this. I've got a vocabulary that can wilt flowers. I'm not going to use it on this site because I don't want some eight-year-old coming on here and going "Daddy! Daddy! I learned a new word today!" But you, sir, deserve every word I can think of, and more.

> and I certainly do not see children doing it!

What are you smoking, Winston, and where can I get some?

> Fortunately, in the walking mode, genuine Heelys allow you to take out the wheel but parallel brands usually do not. Remember to always get your child to take out the wheel. Do not allow them to be lazy!

Kids, remember to always get your parents to read rebuttals like this one. Do not allow them to be lazy!

> Constant walking on shoes that pivot on rollers (now that wheels have taken the place of the heels) conditions our gait muscles to walk in a manner contrary to natural stride patterns.

Half-truth at best. The reality is this: Yes, if you try to walk on Heelys like you walk on normal shoes, you're going to fall down. It's an exchange: Wheeled coasting for heel-toe walking. And maybe if you spent your entire life on them, you'd never learn how to walk in the normal manner and you'd think of toe-running to heel-gliding as natural. (Wow, think of the tricks you'd be able to pull off!) But for an ordinary kid to have his gait messed up by regular Heeling, as if it'd somehow cause him to forget how to walk? Hogwash. Pure and simple.

> This leads to knee, shin and foot injuries later in life.

No it doesn't. I'd love to see your evidence. Oh wait- you don't have any. The creator of Heelys was roller skating before he could walk, and is using Heelys to this day. He's fairly old now. If anyone was going to be suffering these sorts of injuries, wouldn't he be the first?

> Hip Injury

> Balancing in a forward motion on one back wheel is no easy task! Hence, our children’s natural sense of balance intervenes by skating with one foot in front of the other.

What the...? That's how you're supposed to Heel. That's how the videos show you how to Heel. The one-back-wheel move is a trick! Imagine if I had written the sentence:

"Bicycling on the back wheel is no easy task! Hence, our children's natural sense of balance intervenes by bicycling with both wheels."

It makes exactly as much sense.

> The centre of gravity effectively expands along the diagonal axis, creating a more stable base to balance on.

Not only does this guy not know anatomy, he doesn't know physics or geometry. The center of gravity is going to be in the exact same place. It's just the supports to that center- the wheels, in this case- that are preventing a fall backwards or forwards. (Not diagonally. Side-to-side Heely falls are practically impossible.)

> In other circumstances, this would be a beautiful celebration of the human body’s ability to adapt. Unfortunately, in this case, it is a predisposition to a life of agony.

In elementary school, this article would be a beautiful celebration of a fourth-grader's ability to write. Unfortunately, in this case, it is a grown's man predisposition to a life of stupidity.

> Modern children spend most of their time seated behind desks and computer.

And whose fault is that?

> The rare minutes of movement they have in a day

This phrase boggles me. I hope you don't have any children, Winston. I'd have you investigated for child abuse if you did.

> will be constrained by the muscular requirements for the precarious Heelys balancing act.

Why do I get the feeling that this guy has worn them for a total of two minutes, whining all the while?

> Their hips will be locked in an awkward skewed fashion, having to constantly compensate for the imbalance.

Picture it: A fifty year old man, getting around in a wheelchair, twisted in pain because of his hips. His teenage son goes up to him and goes "Dad, how did you end up like this?"

"Son, it was the Heelys. I never should have used the Heelys so much..."

If this situation comes across as anything but utterly absurd, you're not a Heeler.

> The Long Run

Shouldn't it be "The Long Heel"?

> Occasional postural stress on our human bodies is not a problem. It only becomes a critical problem when it involves children in their formative years.

Occasional retarded articles posted on the Internet are not a problem. They only become a critical problem when they affect children in their formative years.

> Prolonged exposure to un-natural stressors on our posture forces our body to evolve by strengthening those incorrect, temporary function, muscles.

"Incorrect, temporary function" muscles? This isn't even coherent. It makes me want to use my incorrect, temporary function triceps to punch this guy repeatedly in the face.

Seriously, go to your doctor and ask which muscles are your incorrect, temporary function muscles. See what he says.

> In the absence of postural rehabilitation, this is the only defence mechanism, albeit temporary. These reinforced muscles become a ticking time bomb waiting to fail.

AAAH! Reinforced muscles are a time bomb! Get away from the governor of California, folks-- he's gonna BLOW!!

> It is our children’s future that we hold in our hands. This article may not have been written based on a field study but it is definitely based on fundamental anatomic principles.

No. No it's not. You couldn't do a field study because of the sheer lack of support for anything you have to say, and some of the kids on this site know considerably more about anatomy than you.

> Yes, I may not know what exactly constitutes prolonged use;

Or much of anything else.

> but let’s try looking at it inversely. What are the unique benefits of wearing Heelys that would justify this lifelong risk?

If you have to even ask, you've never really worn them. Considering the lifelong risk exists only in your head, it's a good trade.

> In a nutshell, dump the Heelys.

In a nutshell, don't listen to every moronic pseudo-physician you find on the Internet.

> For the unfortunate children and adults who are already suffering from chronic postural pains, fret not. The damage is chronic but not irreparable. Get FREE Health Coaching to overcome this problem at http://phenogy.com.

This is an old trick that dates at least back to the nineteenth century. "You have a problem! You must be suffering from pains due to this unheard-of ailment I've just made up! But fear not! You can pay me for the cure!"

As solid proof that this man hasn't the remotest clue what he's talking about, read some of his other articles. Pseudoscientific garbage from beginning to end.

> By Winston Ng, Phenogy Health Advisors

You better feel glad you don't live in America, Winston- any state medical board would have you for the unlicensed practice of medicine in instants.

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Heely Hailey
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:02 pm  Reply with quote
Team Heelys - Midwest


Joined: 23 Oct 2006
Posts: 8388607

Unfortunately my parents were ne of the few who fell for it, luckily they still let me heely just wont let me wear them to school.
~*~ HAILEY ~*~
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Slicer
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:04 pm  Reply with quote
Museum Curator


Joined: 29 Jul 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Central North Dakota, aka The Middle of Nowhere

I wouldn't do that anyway, because of the whole problem with rolling around in a crowded environment. Unless you go to a large school with a small student body, or you somehow get lucky, there's just no room to roll for more than a few feet at a time.

You should probably get your parents to read the above anyway.

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ogel916
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:08 am  Reply with quote



Joined: 27 Jul 2006
Posts: 122
Location: Monterey Park, CA

What the (bleep) is winston talking about? Really, to fall, u do tricks, but most just heel around. we are the few that can do tricks and ive been heeling for 2 years, i never broken any bones. the worst i got was 3 scrapes at once. i only broke a bone from biking.
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Slicer
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:46 am  Reply with quote
Museum Curator


Joined: 29 Jul 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Central North Dakota, aka The Middle of Nowhere

He didn't mention injury from falls, instead he was talking about people contorting themselves into ridiculously unnatural positions for long periods of time. For some reason he believes that people do that while Heeling.

It's basically the equivalent of "If you keep making that face, it'll freeze that way!"

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Skuggi
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:08 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 16 Feb 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Pittsburgh PA

Heelys actually helped me, I took a dive off of large ledge, that kinda was a bit broke and i wasnt paying attention. But, the way i landed and twisted it completely set my hip back in place Smile

But yea seriously if your going to be doing tricks and such, it's your responsibility, your taking it to the next level and basic human instinct will tell you that it's dangerous.

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sara48
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 3:58 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 533
Location: London, UK

the only thing heelys will change bout a kid's life is making them more active, and correct me if im wrong, but isnt that a good thing!
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Slicer
PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:30 pm  Reply with quote
Museum Curator


Joined: 29 Jul 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Central North Dakota, aka The Middle of Nowhere

I've been looking for a good excuse to kick this back to the top. Maybe I ought to sticky it.

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binlid5
PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 4:35 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 17

i had feet problems when i was born and i always walked on my tip toes when i was in most shoes and just socks then a boyut 1 month ago i got heelys and i never walked on ym tip toes again even tho i do in heelys lol any foot doctor tells me not to wear them. but i still do

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well im cameron and i have heelys slide black i want torches but my mum wont let me. And i play guitar.
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KoRnLoVeR8294
PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:16 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 158
Location: hudson

you know how he sais when u stand in the heeling posittion it pushes on ur spine wich pushes on ur head? WHEN YOU WALK NORMALLY WITHOUT THE SHOES UR STANDING IN THE SAME EXACT POSITION!!! this guys a complete idiot and i doubt hes ever even tried the shoes so how would knmow that even ghalf of this stuff is possible by using heelys?
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drummer
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:18 pm  Reply with quote
Team Heelys Midwest / HT Vid Champion


Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 586
Location: STL

my sister broke her leg the second day she had heelys but shes a cluts
she got them in august and still cannot do it right

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seth1230™
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:56 pm  Reply with quote
Heelys Encyclopedia


Joined: 19 Mar 2006
Posts: 2974
Location: Representing SouthEast

drummer wrote:
my sister broke her leg the second day she had heelys but shes a cluts
she got them in august and still cannot do it right


tiffany?

i sprained my wrist when i was trying to 360 2 weeks after i started heeling again

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heelingforlyfe™
PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:06 pm  Reply with quote
Team Heelys - SoCal


Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: -123845

Oh mylanta.

*dies laughing*

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seth1230™: we be on our hoes all day.
seth1230™: i mean shoes.
DeezUU: I keep my shoes in check on the daily
DeezUU: gotta keep your gimphand strong!!

seth1230™: im on a boat and
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zuneskate
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:14 pm  Reply with quote



Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 4
Location: My Computer Desk

I've never broken a bone. Ever. And I Skateboard hard, Heely, and bmx.

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enigma_0Z
PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2007 11:48 am  Reply with quote



Joined: 22 May 2007
Posts: 70

nice.


Is there a link to the original article?
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